Monday, December 29, 2008

Friends and Lovers

What keeps men and women interested in each other? Is it love? Sex? Companionship? Can we, as sexual beings have true and loving friendships with the opposite sex without having sexual feelings towards one another?

The anticipation and beginning of a friendship with someone holds out the possibility of a love between two people that changes and matures into its own. Love as an emotion, is something we as both men and women will never fully understand. But we definitely spend a lot of time trying to figure it all out!

I love my friends (both male and female) deeply and feel that a friend is a person with whom I may be sincere, I may think aloud, and feel that I am in the presence of someone real and equal. A friend allows me to drop those undermost garments and not hide under a false appearance. He allows me to experience the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Electrifying at the very least!

I have worked with, and spent the majority of my days with many men other than my husband, during my adult years. A few of these men were assholes, but several were some of the best friendships of my life and have continued beyond 25 or more years. Sex was never an option to me because of my marital commitment. I didn't say sex never came up. It just was never an option. So my belief is that, yes, sex does come up when you truly love and admire a friend. And while it may be acceptable for some, it isn't on the table for others.

We humans are social beings. We survive in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from other's activities. For this reason it is not a surprise that most of our happiness comes as a result of our relationships with others.

To me, relationships, of all kinds, are like sand held in your hand. If you hold the sand loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. When you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most of it will seep through. Most relationships are like that. If held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But if you hold too tightly, too possessively, the relationship slips away and is lost.

" But oh! The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subje
ct; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort . . . the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person . . . having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Thursday, December 25, 2008


It's Christmas Eve and what a great day we've had!

When Luke arrived this afternoon, he got the turkey rubbed down and ready for frying and then we gathered up the bags of toys to take to the local battered women's shelter. Due to confidentiality, Luke, Ryan, and I were unable to actually see the children and their mom's, but we could hear them playing in another room. We had carefully chosen gently used toys to give and ended up with quite a few for the children who ranged in ages from newborn to 13 years. I also sent a dozen oyster shell Santa's that I had made for the mom's. Ryan seemed happy and pleased that these toys would be for children that might not get a visit from Santa this year. It was a wonderful experience, not only for Ryan, but for us as well. Luke decided to make this shelter his number one charity.

We arrived home again and after the turkey was all marinated up and fried to a golden brown, we all gathered around the table and ate turkey sandwiches, chips, and pickles. Warm turkey sandwiches are awesome for a Christmas Eve supper. Once again, Luke did a SUPER job on the turkey! Yumm! We even listened to a little Christmas music while we ate, which made it even more enjoyable (to me, anyway).

After supper we muted the TV and sat in the living room together to open a few gifts. Ryan gave Mr. Luke a flatulence noise maker. OMG. I have had to listen to a continual stream of farting since the gift was opened. Mr. Luke said it was probably the best Christmas present he had ever received.

Ryan settled down and wrote his letter to Santa to leave on the hearth with cookies and milk.

Before going to bed, he wanted to show Mr. Luke the magic bell that Santa left for him a couple of years ago.

"You can only hear the bell ring, if you BELIEVE.", Ryan told him. Mr. Luke could not hear the bell. Ryan tried everything he could think of to help Mr. Luke hear the bell, but no use. He rang it louder and louder and over and over again.

"But Mr. Luke, all you have to do is say you BELIEVE and don't cross any of your body parts.", he said. No matter what he did, Mr. Luke still could not hear the bell and so Ryan decided to change his letter to Santa by asking Santa to come to our house tomorrow so Mr. Luke could BELIEVE.

Luke said, "Ryan, what I want for my Christmas wish is not to be chubby and no back hair."

"Mr. Luke, Santa Claus doesn't do those kinda wishes. You're gonna have to give him something he can work with.", Ryan informed him.

So the cookies and milk were set out and the letter was written. Ryan was finally ready for visions of sugar plums.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Real Boy

"Ryan, when Mr. Luke gets here today, we are going over to the Battered Women's Shelter where they have children that don't have anyone to look after them. They have 7 girls and 1 little boy that is 4 years old.", I explained.

Looking at me with surprise and exclamation, Ryan asked, "And we're gonna give him to Mr. Luke?"

"uh . . . no."
, I answered.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Santa Claus, Reindeer, and Orphans

I love the Christmas season with all the lights and decorations. I love reading the story of Jesus' birth and attending a Candlelight Communion Service. I especially love spending time with family and friends and watching the excitement in the eyes of the children.

Ryan has been extremely excited this year with the anticipation of Christmas and Santa Claus visiting on Christmas Eve. I felt that he might be missing the true meaning of Christmas, so I asked him about going through his toys to see if there were any toys that he no longer enjoyed playing with, that he could give to children that didn't have any toys or didn't have any parents. He promptly answered me with "No, I don't have any toys I want to give away."

Surely he does not understand, since he obviously has way too many toys and doesn't even play with most of them. So I said, "What about this Batman figure? You never play with him and you don't even like him."

"No, Nanny. I don't want to give him away.", he said, emphatically.

"But Ryan, it's for children that are orphans and they won't get anything for Christmas because they don't have anybody to look after them.", exaggerating my point.

"No.", he repeated. "I said I don't want to give any of my toys away! They probably would just tear them up anyway."

I did finally locate a jigsaw puzzle that he agreed to give up. I hate to mention that this particular jigsaw puzzle has already been re-gifted at least twice.

* * *

So a little later, I asked Ryan, "Do you know who's birthday is on Christmas?"

"Santa Claus!", he exclaimed.

"No, Ryan. It's not Santa Claus' birthday . . . Santa Claus is just a spirit.", I said.

"No he's not! He lives at the North Pole with his elves and his reindeer!", standing his ground and thinking that his Nanny has lost her mind.

"Ryan, Christmas is Jesus' birthday.", I said. "Jesus was born on Christmas Day and the three wise men brought him gifts. That's why we celebrate Christmas by giving gifts just like the wise men did for Jesus."

* * *

I thought Ryan knew all the answers to my questions and I'm truly embarrassed that he answered the way he did. I think his answers were a lot like many other children his age and he forgot the true meaning of Christmas because he was so wrapped up in what he would be receiving from Santa.

In light of this conversation with Ryan, I felt it was past time that he understood the true meaning of Christmas. We are taking gifts to the local battered women's shelter on Christmas Eve. I want him to experience what it's like to give to those less fortunate. He has also been missing way too many Sunday's in Sunday School. That is changing.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's Probably No Big Deal At All

Well, once again it was that time of year for my annual physical. Except . . . I skipped it completely last year.

I needed to get completely checked from head to toe and everywhere in between. I had the mammogram, the bone density, the blood work, the pap, the works.

The mammogram was no fun as usual. I just can never get used to standing in the middle of a room, topless, with a huge ass machine and another person squeezing my boobs between a vice. And it doesn't make it any easier that my boobs are size DD, very round, firm, and tight. They do not give way to a plexi-glass vice without cringing and gritting of the teeth. They finished that up and said I would get a phone call in a week or so with the results. Fine. Glad that's out of the way.

Next was the bone density and that's a breeze. Just lay there fully clothed and let the scanner move up and down your body. I could sleep during this one. The same technician measured my height and said I was 5 feet tall.

'Are you kidding me?' I asked. 'I'm supposed to be 5 feet and 1/2 inch. Let's measure me one more time and see if I can stand up a little bit taller!'

I stood in place and she measured me again. '5 feet and 1/8 inch.', she said.

'Shoot! I bet I was wearing my shoes last time!', I answered.

I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis 3 years ago and have been on the drug Boniva (advertised by Sally Field on TV), so I was anxious to know my results from this bone density test. Whoo Hoo! My bone density had increased 5%!!! Yay me!

Then on to see the doc. She asked all the pertinent questions and did the usual exam. I told her I had these lesions on my back and asked if she thought they should be looked at by someone else. Although they all looked benign, she agreed they should be taken off and then referred me to a plastic surgeon (just so happens to be her husband). I had those taken off a couple of days later and they were all benign, so all is good. Just need to get the stitches out and I'll be brand new again!

Then comes the mammogram phone call . . . A voice mail from the mammogram technician was left for me saying she needed me to call back ASAP regarding my mammogram. That's all.

'What? I've never had any problems. WTH could that be about?' I thought. 'I DID have one lesion on my right boob, but it was fine and it's gone now.'

So next morning, I called back and it seems that there is some 'abnormal tissue' showing that wasn't there the last time I had a mammogram in Oct 2006.

'Which breast is it in?', I asked.

'It's in both breast.', the technician answered. 'We need for you to come back in and let us do further testing on you and you'll need to come when the Radiologist is here. The Radiologist will want to talk with you and explain everything. He is only here on Wednesday's and the next time he will be here will be New Year's Eve. Can you come then?', she asked.

'Yeah . . . Sure . . . I'll be there.', I answered.

It's probably no big deal at all.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Big Smiles and Happy Faces!

We decided to have a little Christmas party tonight since Luke had his three kids for the weekend and we don't get to see them very much. They all arrived this afternoon with big smiles and happy faces ready to have a good time!

The children had grown so much since we last saw them. Gloria Lee, 9, wanted to paint a few Santa's and went straight to work on that after she gave me a hug and noted that she was almost as tall as me.

Lucas, 7, and Noah, 5, gave me big hugs and smiles and stood still for me to see how much they had grown. Ryan was so excited that they were all here and they immediately began playing.

At one point, Noah took a snack break from playing and sat at the counter talking to me. He looked around and told me that Grandma's are Christmassy.

Lucas stayed busy checking out all the toys in Ryan's room while Gloria Lee painted Santa's.

We all snacked on shrimp, chips and other goodies while Luke got supper going. Gloria Lee said the blessing before we ate our meal and our hearts were touched at her genuine heartfelt prayer. She spoke to Jesus as though he were seated at our table and I know Luke was more proud than ever before of his little girl.

Luke cooked the best pork tenderloin, rice and gravy, and saute'ed green beans you have ever put in your mouth! Everything was delicious, but the tenderloin was so juicy and tender you could cut it with a fork. The best I've ever had! Luke claimed that the meat had aged on the side of the road. Whatever . . . it was good.

I hated for the evening to end, but little ones get tired and they were traveling back to Savannah. Before they left, I asked, "Who is sleeping with Daddy?". Little Noah smiled the biggest smile and raised his hand as he said, "I am!"

Luke is the best Daddy in the world to his three children. They are the most important thing in his life and it is evident. Nothing else ranks as high. He loves his children with all his heart and they love and respect him in return. It's a very beautiful thing.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful.

Luke brought a couple of movies over last night when he came for supper and to take our Christmas picture. One of the movies was The Dewey Cox Story. He warned us to be sure Ryan wasn't around when we watched it, so when Ryan was at school this morning, I pulled the movie out to see what it was all about.

HILARIOUS! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! It's definitely a movie to see if you like a good laugh!

In other goings on around this place . . . I had a doctor appointment this afternoon to see a plastic surgeon. It was only to have a couple of lesions or moles removed, so I had it all planned out that I was going to ask him what he could do to make me beautiful. I was thinking something like Kelly Lebrock.

You know . . . maybe a breast reduction, a chin lift, an arm lift, liposuction, full body skin abrasion . . . just for starters.

Well, nothing ever happens the way I plan it, so the question never came up. Ended up, he had to take 11 lesions off of me! He needed to take more off, but that was all he felt like my body could tolerate for one visit. Turns out, he was RIGHT! Now I look like I was shot up by somebody with a pistol.

Not to mention my forehead, left elbow, and right boob. Most all of the incisions have stitches and besides leaving the doctor's office with the "shakes", I'm feeling like I had a double espresso while I was there.

And also, Minor's birthday was today. I was so READY for a night out for dinner and drinks! We made it to happy hour, so the tequila is doing it's job. I'm not dancing, but I'm definitely feeling a bit better! Thanks Jose'. Thanks for having a birthday, Minor! Happy 56th! Minor thought he was 57 and I had to figure it up again for him and prove to him he was only 56. Don't tell him I told you. He's a very busy man and leaves the small stuff to me, like remembering how old we are. LOL!

Merry Christmas everyone!

This is NOT the Christmas picture that Luke took last night, but it IS what I wore and how I looked. Just in case you were wondering.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I'd Do It Again In A Heartbeat!

We had our biggest Arts and Crafts Festival of the year here on St. Simons Island this past weekend and it was FABULOUS! The economy is in a down swing, but we were surely not seeing it at the Santa table. It was absolutely wonderful to see each Santa go to a new home or to a new friend or family. I felt like I had put a little tiny piece of St. Simons Island in each and every bag.

We set up the booth on Friday afternoon and evening for us to open at 10 AM on Saturday. Afterwards, Luke cooked us all a big pot of Jambalaya for supper while we discussed the schedule for the next day and tried to relax a little.

We had a 'pregnant belly' shoot at 8:30 AM scheduled for Saturday morning with the Mom and Dad to be. It went great and I even got a sneak peek at the photos afterwards! The finished photos are going to be beautiful. Check out our website soon at for new pictures.

After the photo shoot, Luke and I headed over to the Festival to finish setting up the booth for opening at 10 AM. The weather was chilly but not too terribly cold, so I wore my Christmas sweater and enjoyed wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Although the plan was for Minor to bag the Santa's and count the number sold while Luke and I did all the selling, it never quite worked out that way. We had so much fun selling and bagging, we all just did whatever came next. Luke and I enjoy the selling, so Minor didn't mind at all making coffee and food pickups throughout the day.

One of the other vendors that we have met through these Festivals is a lady that we know as Miss Millie. Miss Millie makes jewelry and travels here from Florida each time St. Simons holds an event such as this. She travels to other Festivals as well, but she makes it a point to be here. We have grown to love her and watch out for her when she is in town. Meeting people from all over everywhere is always exciting and this weekend was no different. We met people from Australia and others from Canada, as well as other states.

Luke had to leave early on Saturday to get ready for a Christmas Party on Saturday night. No problem, since Minor was there to help take up the slack. I turned the tables on Luke on Sunday, when I had to leave early to sing in The Messiah at 4 PM.

The Festival ended at 5 PM as did the performance of The Messiah, so the three of us met back at the house and decided to celebrate our FANTASTIC weekend by eating a big juicy steak at Outback. And of course, I couldn't leave out the fact that it was happy hour! I LOVE Outback!

We all worked sooooo hard to make this weekend a success and it truly was. Even if we never sold a thing, it was so much fun, we would do it again in a heartbeat!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Christmas At The Beach

I wrote this little diddy last year at Christmas time and thought I'd share it with all of you.

Christmas At The Beach

by Carla Pryor

Twas the night before Christmas,

And yes, it is so,
I was still awake,
And waiting for Snow.

I wished and I wished,
For the white stuff to come.
To build a big snowman,
I'd have to have some.

The pictures I've seen,
And the stories I've read,
Have only convinced me,
It's not in my head.

If Santa can bring
The gifts for us all,
Then why can't he send us
Some snow in a ball?

I've seen in the malls,
They are filled with fake snow.
That's not the same thing,
And I hope that they know.

I want the real thing.
Of this I am sure.
It's got to be real,
So cold and so pure.

So while I am waiting
For snow to come down,
I'll head to the beach
In my cap and my gown.

I'll bring a few candles
And a bottle of wine.
A shovel, a rake,
And a little design.

A sunhat, some seaweed,
And plenty of shells.
Some driftwood and starfish,
Don't need any bells.

I'll sculpt and I'll mold,
The sand and the sea.
Until I at last
Have a Sand Fa-mi-ly.

And if Santa should fly
In the sky on this night,
I want him to know
That it will be all right.

If he doesn't bring snow,
It will be OKay.
The beach is much nicer,
Than a cold winter day.

So maybe next year,
When he drops by for a bite,
He'll bring me some snow,
With a Merry Christmas and a good night!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Landing

You may remember several weeks ago, I wrote a blog about our booth at the Darien Fall Festival. The highlight of our day was seeing the Gulluh Geechee Shouters perform and we were thrilled to get lots of good pics and talk to these people after their performance. Luke was gracious, as usual, and offered his business card as well as a desire to be of service to them with any of their photography needs.

And sure enough, Luke received a call a couple of days ago from Griffin Lotson, a Georgia Gullah Geechee and the manager of their group. There was to be an upcoming event that he knew we would NOT want to miss, and he was SO right! So we gathered the camera equipment and set out to Jekyll Island for this important event that we felt so proud to have been privy to.

On entering the gate on the island, there is a $3.00 charge and as our car reached the gate, Luke handed the attendant the money and asked her, "How do we get to the area where the "Wanderer" dedication ceremony is being held?"

The attendant pointed out which turn to take and to continue around the loop. "You can't miss it!", she answered.

Luke thanked her and then asked, "If we are the press, do we still have to pay the $3.00 gate fee?"

"Oh no, of course not!", she exclaimed. "Here is your money back. You don't need to pay."

As we drove through the gate, Luke looked at me with a smirk and I looked back at him with the same smirk. "Well, we MIGHT be the press if the paper wants to use our pictures, right?", I asked.

"That's RIGHT!", he answered.

As we approached the area, we pulled over to the edge of the road to park and walked the remainder of the way to the dedication site. I might remind you that Luke is 6' 7" and I am 5' 1". Which means his stride is MUCH longer than mine. I have to take three steps to his one. Not to mention I was wearing heels and a good bit of the walking was in beach sand. I felt like I was in a race and was not winning. Even though I was dragging the line, we were lucky enough to get there just in time to spot the Darien Geechee Shouters just before the ceremony. We were able to speak, shake hands, and thank them for inviting us to their performance and to this event.

This memorial dedication ceremony was to observe the 150th anniversary of the landing of "The Wanderer", the last American slave ship and to commemorate the installation of a permanent exhibit dedicated to the enslaved African survivors of that voyage. This was the exact site where on November 28, 1858, "The Wanderer" laid anchor.

Even though owning and selling slaves was still legal in many parts of the country in the days soon before the Civil War, importing them had been illegal for many years. Approximately 409 slaved men, women, and children were brought to shore on Jekyll Island on that morning in 1858. Even the children were shackled. After landing on Jekyll Island, "The Wanderer" was the last slave ship to reach Georgia and the US without repercussions.

The Georgia Gullah Geechees (the Darien Shouters) from MacIntosh County, Georgia, are all 100% ancestry. One of the original shouters learned the shout when she was a child in 1939. Their goal is to preserve and protect the Geechee heritage. They are committed to this through their song and dance with the Geechee language and Geechee folklore. Their goal is to keep the shout as authentic as possible from 1800 to present.

Another very important highlight of this ceremony was a dynamic performance by Jamal Toure', a living historian of Gullah-Geechee culture. Toure' is considered an expert on the history and culture of the African people and has done living history presentations for the Prime Minister of Haiti, the Gambia National Museum Official, and DANNY GLOVER. His performance was mesmerizing and captured each and every person there as he performed the animated story of being a slave on this magnificent ship, "The Wanderer", and being brought here to this island to be branded and sold. The African slaves who survived that dreadful voyage were scattered across Georgia and throughout the South.

It was a wonderful experience for Luke and I that we will not soon forget. Although as soon as the sun went down, the temperature began to drop and the chillness in the air was quite brisk (at least for ME, not Luke), it was an excellent opportunity for us to mingle with the Gullah Geechees, and other dignitaries from the Jekyll Island Authority and Glynn County. The many artifacts from this time period, including a shackle worn by a child, was quite telling to see and touch.

Many, many kudos to all the talented speakers and performers who shared their thoughts and voices with us.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Just So Ya Know

I cannot figure this thing out. What does it mean when your tummy has butterflies and your body feels hot all of a sudden and then a slight wave of nausea hits. Is that a hot flash? Is that my hormones raging? I've already done the Menopause thing. Does that mean I'm stressed? Am I just wanting sex? I may kill Minor before I figure this thing out! Help! I must be dying! It's sort of like being nervous or anticipating a very important event, except there is nothing specifically that I can attribute it to. I DO have a lot going on in my life, and maybe my body is trying to tell me something. WHAT? WHAT?

I visited my parents in the nursing home this past weekend and after I left, I just wanted to go home and crawl under the covers so I could cry all by myself. Mama is doing very well and I hope she will be well enough to go home to her apartment soon, but Daddy is completely bed ridden and will never go home. I'm sad about that. He knew I was there at one point, but he is so pitiful, he cannot even voice his feelings. I looked into his eyes, and I couldn't see him in there anymore. So, yes, that is weighing heavily on my heart. *sigh*

We've also been working steadily on the photography side of our partnership with Luke and that has been both rewarding and a learning experience for all of us. It's all good, though, so I expect that stress to let up soon. With the upcoming show this weekend in Darien, the work is cut out for me from now until Saturday. I wonder how many hours I can stay awake in order to get it all done?

Ryan had an awesome Halloween Birthday party last Friday night and all the work put into it was well worth the good time that he had. It was all chaotic, but oodles of fun for the kiddos! Luke took lots of great pictures of the children and they should be ready soon. One good thing that happened at the party was that I sold $100 worth of Santa's to one of the parents. Yippee!

My MIL came to visit last Thursday and left yesterday (Monday). That was stressful as well, although she means well and truly tried to help all she could while she was here. She is soooo wrapped up in the election coverage on TV and that was all she could talk about. I don't know about you, but I'm damn sick of Obama/McCain news coverage. Let's all just go vote and get it over with.

And then there's my real estate licensing course that I'm taking. Obviously, I haven't had time to do the studying that is required and it looks like I will be asking for an extension. *sigh*

And last, but not least, Luke will be bringing a new girlfriend here to meet us on Friday to eat supper so I'm a little excited about meeting her as well. That's the day before our show in Darien and I've already made sure he understands that I need his help getting everything done and ready to set up at 7AM on Saturday morning. He better not leave me matting and framing his prints while he and his sweetie are laughing and cuddling on my couch. Just so ya know, my "ass kicking" consist of much stronger tactics than a swift kick on someone's behind.

Icing On The Cake

Recently, a very good friend (Luke) suggested that I blog about my life with Minor and the kind of man and husband he is to me. Minor is the sort of guy that most people (all except my best friends) don't notice, but he is the one that makes all the difference in my life.

I have been tremendously lucky in love. My parents loved me as well as my friends and relatives. There have even been a few people that loved me that I didn't love back. I have always been loved and protected by a man, having moved from my parent's home into my husband's home. I've truly been blessed and I don't take it lightly.

I was 21 years old when I first met Minor. He had recently come home from the military, having served in the USAF for 4 years in Viet Nam. Minor was working with his Dad at the family owned hardware store. A girlfriend of mine introduced us at the store one day and I remember seeing him standing there looking at me and smiling. As I looked back at him, I wondered to myself if he was the man I would marry. Could it have been something in the way he looked at me that made me think that? I really don't know why I wondered it, but it just popped into my head at that very moment.

Several days later, we saw each other by chance at a softball game. It was just beginning to rain and since I had an umbrella, Minor sat under my umbrella with me. He walked me to my car afterwards although he didn't give me a kiss. He kept me waiting for that. He asked me out to dinner and a movie on the weekend and I accepted. Things began to get more and more serious as we spent more and more time together. He was wonderful to me.

By the time six months had passed, we had become very very close and spent all of our time outside of work together. Minor was so good to me. He would turn heaven and earth for me and he let it be known. It wasn't all about showering me with gifts of flowers, candy, jewelry, and trips. It was about how he treated me. Love, honor, and respect. Never jealous or mean spirited. No one had EVER treated me so well in my entire life. He never spoke a harsh word to me. He put me above everything else in his life. It was all about me and whatever made me happy. And happiness to me was being loved and cared for by him.

No guess to anyone, I wanted to marry him. I remembered something my Mama had told me once. "If you want someone bad enough, you can have them. It's up to you." That's all I needed to know.

Within a couple of weeks, Minor did indeed, ask me to marry him. He got down on bended knee and proposed "old fashioned" like and then he asked my Daddy if he could marry me. It's just the way he is.

It's been 32 years and we are even more in love today than we were back then. We have surely been through some tough years with inlaws and outlaws, with teenagers and career changes. Some years have been leaner than others. But through each and every problem, we faced it head on together and we still do. We've made some wrong decisions and we've made some right ones, but we did it together and never blamed the other if things didn't work the way we had planned it.

Minor has remained steadfast and continues to treat me even better today than he did years ago. He is a gentleman in every sense of the word. He loves and respects me far beyond my expectations. His health has not been good for the last 15 years, although he would not ever complain or allow anyone to feel sympathy for him. He is a good husband and father and I am so lucky to have him. I'll never take it for granted. Each new day with him is a blessing to me.

If someone were to ask me what it takes to have a long loving marriage, I would say, "Love, honor, respect, commitment, and honesty. Throw in really good sex, and it's icing on the cake."

I believe that we can have many soul mates. I also believe they can be in the form of a friend or a lover. Minor is my soul mate and I am his. We will find each other on the other side and that's comforting to me.

Hold Still . . . This is Gonna Hurt!

Luke is having his ear hairs plucked. It hurts a little. Notice the grimace on his face.

"Ouch! I think that one was attached to my brain stem."

"Hold still . . . this one is gonna hurt!"

I think he fainted.

You're Not Old Until You Lose Your Nuts

Luke and Martin showed up this afternoon around 5:30 and Minor drove up at the same time. I was still fixing the Green Bean Shit that Luke had requested for his birthday meal and Kate fixed the Mississippi Mud Cake he wanted for dessert. John and Brad showed up around 6:00 and we all gathered in the living room for Luke to open his presents.

Ryan was so excited because he was giving Luke a "My Little Pony" as a joke and also an expanding girlfriend that grows when you put her in water. Even Ryan knows Luke is biased towards the tall chicks.

See, Luke plays around with Ryan and makes him think he is going to buy him a "My Little Pony" and Ryan is constantly trying to convince Luke that "My Little Pony" is for girls only and he doesn't want a "My Little Pony" because he is a boy. So Ryan was tickled to play a joke on Mr. Luke for a change. Mr. Luke confided in me that every time he comes over, he is going to bring the "My Little Pony" with him and is determined that he will have Ryan believing that boys play with "My Little Ponies".

Since Luke HATES thongs, Kate couldn't resist giving him a sexy pink and black dotted thong. I'm sure he would like to wear it, but I think it may be too small.

As Psuedo Mom, I've been getting really tired of Luke wearing wrinkled shirts and looking like a ragamuffin in casual clothes. So Minor and I decided to order him some Polo shirts in his size.

Luke in Blue

Luke in yellow

Luke in black

I won't tell you what size they are, but let's just say it was BIG! He held one shirt in front of Ryan and it looked like a full length nightgown. When Ryan spread his little arms out, his hands barely came to the sleeves on each side.

Luke and Ryan in green

Luke's a BIG boy. I'm glad I'm his Psuedo Mom and not his Birth Mom. That had to be a labor of love.

The other day, Luke decided to call John's tire and auto shop, and the owner answered the phone, "St. Simons Tire and Auto, this is Jimmy. How may I help you?"

Luke responded, "Someone told me that if I called this number and asked for John, that I could get my rear end lubed."

Jimmy answered, "This is an automotive center."

"Well, is there even anyone named John there?", Luke asked, then cracked up laughing.

So then Jimmy had some fun at John's expense. He told John, "There's some guy on the phone who wants you to lube his rear end."

John looked up and answered, "Oh, I know who that is. It's Luke."

So Luke got a can of industrial strength lube from John for his birthday.

Luke also received lots of birthday cards that were so funny and cute and touching as well. It's good to remember that you're not old unless you can't remember where your nuts are. And I'm guessing Luke has not misplaced his nuts yet.

More birthday pics below.

Luke, making a wish and blowing out all 34 candles.

Turn off the smoke alarm!

Ryan, Minor, Martin (LLGF does not mean Life Long Gay Fellow), and Brad

Kate, Ryan, and John

Celebrating our successful business ventures with cigars.
Luke said, "Just puff on it, Miss Carla."

And I didn't even vomit!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

It's Just A Little Bitty Taser Gun

With Luke's birthday coming up next week, I decided to go ahead and purchase the party decorations and game toys. Yes, that's right. GAME TOYS.

I was thinking a pocket taser stun gun would be great fun and I could even use it later as protection against a mugger or whatever. So I checked the stun guns out at Pansy's Pawn Shop yesterday over on the mainland. The one I bought is a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser aren't supposed to last long, and no long term effects at all. Just long enough so that I could get myself to safety, if necessary.

So I got the taser home and was a little disappointed that it only used 2 triple A batteries. I mean, how bad could THAT be? So I was sitting here in the living room looking around for someone or something to try it out on. The directions said that a 1 second burst would shock and disorient your assailant. A 2 second burst could cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control. And a 3 second burst would probably make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish.

In walks Luke. There he sat in his tee shirt and shorts and with his glasses on. He was none the wiser. I thought to myself, there is no way 2 little bitty triple A batteries could do anything to this great big guy. I mean, how bad could one little tiny burst be?

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

So I sat down next to Luke on the couch and smiled up to him. Oh, he is was so unsuspecting.

As he smiled back, I touched the prongs to his naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE FUCK ! ! !

I didn't see him, but I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan must have come in, picked Luke up, and body slammed him over and over and over again!

When Luke came to, he was on his side in a fetal position, with tears in his eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, and testicles nowhere to be found.

The cat was clinging to a picture frame above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by Luke's body flopping all over our living room.

A minute or two later, after Luke had collected his wits, he sat up. His bent glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. His triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. His face looked like it had been shot up with novocain and he had no control over the drooling. Apparently he pooped on himself, but his sense of smell was gone, and he must have been numb from the waist down, so he didn't realize it. I saw a faint smoke cloud above his head which I believe came from his hair. We're still looking for his nuts and offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Man, that was a fun toy! I hope Luke wakes up in time for the party.

If you can't make it to the party and all the fun, send birthday cards to:

Luke Smith
110 Peachtree Street
St. Simons Island, GA 31522

Monday, October 13, 2008

Don't Lick It

The Arts and Crafts Festival here on St. Simons Island was this past weekend and having a vendor booth was a new experience for us. I was a bit apprehensive going into the weekend, but Luke kept cracking the whip on me and pushing for more, more, more! I finished 25 dozen Santas (with the help of Kate) and Luke actually painted the first coat of paint on at least 1 of those dozen.

So I felt comfortable with my inventory and we had high hopes for good weather, lots of buyers, meeting lots of people, and more fun than you can imagine. We were NOT disappointed!

We only had 1 1/2 weeks to prepare for this festival, and were not as prepared as we would have preferred to be, although we sold a lot and made some good money at it. It was a wonderful experience for our 1st time in though, and we came away with lots of knowledge to take home with us for future festivals.

Luke's photography ( will add a much needed boost going forward and we'll have time to get those prints ordered and prepared to sell for next month. Our personalities, as well as our artistry, complement each other and that is a VERY good thing for our partnership when it comes to selling.

On 1 occasion when an interested buyer walked into our booth, she was eying the freshly painted Santas, and pondering over the selections.

Luke said, "Those are oyster shells that Miss Carla found here on St. Simons Island. I found 2 or 3 of them though, but my name's not Carla."

I said, "Yes, he found at least 2 or 3 of them by kicking the shell with his toe in the sand and saying, "Here's one right here, Miss Carla". But, yes, the shells are all found on the beaches here."

Luke added, "Yeah, the shells are from East Beach and the moss is from the trees in Miss Carla's backyard and the paint is from China. So don't lick it."

Luke also had lots of opportunity to check out the other photography booths and also found lots of model subjects for his portfolio. He has a way with folks that just makes them love him. Lucky for him.

A Mother and Daughter were here from Washington State and were having so much fun with us about our thick Southern accent. The Daughter said she had asked another Southerner here to repeat their sentence 3 times before she realized they were speaking English. Now THAT'S funny, ya'll.

There were times we were having so much fun, Luke won't even allow me to divulge it.

I'm calling that "leverage" over him. Ya'll, as Luke's pseudo Mom, I have the goods on him this time. Only a Mom could help him out in the way I helped him. It was just short of wiping his butt. I'm loving that leverage.

We met and talked with so many wonderful people from all over the U.S. and it was absolutely AWESOME! We can hardly wait until the next Festival to do it all over again!

And don't forget to go to my profile page to order your St. Simons Santa for Christmas this year!