It's Probably No Big Deal At All

Well, once again it was that time of year for my annual physical. Except . . . I skipped it completely last year.

I needed to get completely checked from head to toe and everywhere in between. I had the mammogram, the bone density, the blood work, the pap, the works.

The mammogram was no fun as usual. I just can never get used to standing in the middle of a room, topless, with a huge ass machine and another person squeezing my boobs between a vice. And it doesn't make it any easier that my boobs are size DD, very round, firm, and tight. They do not give way to a plexi-glass vice without cringing and gritting of the teeth. They finished that up and said I would get a phone call in a week or so with the results. Fine. Glad that's out of the way.

Next was the bone density and that's a breeze. Just lay there fully clothed and let the scanner move up and down your body. I could sleep during this one. The same technician measured my height and said I was 5 feet tall.

'Are you kidding me?' I asked. 'I'm supposed to be 5 feet and 1/2 inch. Let's measure me one more time and see if I can stand up a little bit taller!'

I stood in place and she measured me again. '5 feet and 1/8 inch.', she said.

'Shoot! I bet I was wearing my shoes last time!', I answered.

I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis 3 years ago and have been on the drug Boniva (advertised by Sally Field on TV), so I was anxious to know my results from this bone density test. Whoo Hoo! My bone density had increased 5%!!! Yay me!

Then on to see the doc. She asked all the pertinent questions and did the usual exam. I told her I had these lesions on my back and asked if she thought they should be looked at by someone else. Although they all looked benign, she agreed they should be taken off and then referred me to a plastic surgeon (just so happens to be her husband). I had those taken off a couple of days later and they were all benign, so all is good. Just need to get the stitches out and I'll be brand new again!

Then comes the mammogram phone call . . . A voice mail from the mammogram technician was left for me saying she needed me to call back ASAP regarding my mammogram. That's all.

'What? I've never had any problems. WTH could that be about?' I thought. 'I DID have one lesion on my right boob, but it was fine and it's gone now.'

So next morning, I called back and it seems that there is some 'abnormal tissue' showing that wasn't there the last time I had a mammogram in Oct 2006.

'Which breast is it in?', I asked.

'It's in both breast.', the technician answered. 'We need for you to come back in and let us do further testing on you and you'll need to come when the Radiologist is here. The Radiologist will want to talk with you and explain everything. He is only here on Wednesday's and the next time he will be here will be New Year's Eve. Can you come then?', she asked.

'Yeah . . . Sure . . . I'll be there.', I answered.

It's probably no big deal at all.