Monday, December 29, 2008

Friends and Lovers

What keeps men and women interested in each other? Is it love? Sex? Companionship? Can we, as sexual beings have true and loving friendships with the opposite sex without having sexual feelings towards one another?

The anticipation and beginning of a friendship with someone holds out the possibility of a love between two people that changes and matures into its own. Love as an emotion, is something we as both men and women will never fully understand. But we definitely spend a lot of time trying to figure it all out!

I love my friends (both male and female) deeply and feel that a friend is a person with whom I may be sincere, I may think aloud, and feel that I am in the presence of someone real and equal. A friend allows me to drop those undermost garments and not hide under a false appearance. He allows me to experience the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Electrifying at the very least!

I have worked with, and spent the majority of my days with many men other than my husband, during my adult years. A few of these men were assholes, but several were some of the best friendships of my life and have continued beyond 25 or more years. Sex was never an option to me because of my marital commitment. I didn't say sex never came up. It just was never an option. So my belief is that, yes, sex does come up when you truly love and admire a friend. And while it may be acceptable for some, it isn't on the table for others.

We humans are social beings. We survive in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from other's activities. For this reason it is not a surprise that most of our happiness comes as a result of our relationships with others.

To me, relationships, of all kinds, are like sand held in your hand. If you hold the sand loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. When you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most of it will seep through. Most relationships are like that. If held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But if you hold too tightly, too possessively, the relationship slips away and is lost.

" But oh! The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subje
ct; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort . . . the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person . . . having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Thursday, December 25, 2008


It's Christmas Eve and what a great day we've had!

When Luke arrived this afternoon, he got the turkey rubbed down and ready for frying and then we gathered up the bags of toys to take to the local battered women's shelter. Due to confidentiality, Luke, Ryan, and I were unable to actually see the children and their mom's, but we could hear them playing in another room. We had carefully chosen gently used toys to give and ended up with quite a few for the children who ranged in ages from newborn to 13 years. I also sent a dozen oyster shell Santa's that I had made for the mom's. Ryan seemed happy and pleased that these toys would be for children that might not get a visit from Santa this year. It was a wonderful experience, not only for Ryan, but for us as well. Luke decided to make this shelter his number one charity.

We arrived home again and after the turkey was all marinated up and fried to a golden brown, we all gathered around the table and ate turkey sandwiches, chips, and pickles. Warm turkey sandwiches are awesome for a Christmas Eve supper. Once again, Luke did a SUPER job on the turkey! Yumm! We even listened to a little Christmas music while we ate, which made it even more enjoyable (to me, anyway).

After supper we muted the TV and sat in the living room together to open a few gifts. Ryan gave Mr. Luke a flatulence noise maker. OMG. I have had to listen to a continual stream of farting since the gift was opened. Mr. Luke said it was probably the best Christmas present he had ever received.

Ryan settled down and wrote his letter to Santa to leave on the hearth with cookies and milk.

Before going to bed, he wanted to show Mr. Luke the magic bell that Santa left for him a couple of years ago.

"You can only hear the bell ring, if you BELIEVE.", Ryan told him. Mr. Luke could not hear the bell. Ryan tried everything he could think of to help Mr. Luke hear the bell, but no use. He rang it louder and louder and over and over again.

"But Mr. Luke, all you have to do is say you BELIEVE and don't cross any of your body parts.", he said. No matter what he did, Mr. Luke still could not hear the bell and so Ryan decided to change his letter to Santa by asking Santa to come to our house tomorrow so Mr. Luke could BELIEVE.

Luke said, "Ryan, what I want for my Christmas wish is not to be chubby and no back hair."

"Mr. Luke, Santa Claus doesn't do those kinda wishes. You're gonna have to give him something he can work with.", Ryan informed him.

So the cookies and milk were set out and the letter was written. Ryan was finally ready for visions of sugar plums.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Real Boy

"Ryan, when Mr. Luke gets here today, we are going over to the Battered Women's Shelter where they have children that don't have anyone to look after them. They have 7 girls and 1 little boy that is 4 years old.", I explained.

Looking at me with surprise and exclamation, Ryan asked, "And we're gonna give him to Mr. Luke?"

"uh . . . no."
, I answered.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Santa Claus, Reindeer, and Orphans

I love the Christmas season with all the lights and decorations. I love reading the story of Jesus' birth and attending a Candlelight Communion Service. I especially love spending time with family and friends and watching the excitement in the eyes of the children.

Ryan has been extremely excited this year with the anticipation of Christmas and Santa Claus visiting on Christmas Eve. I felt that he might be missing the true meaning of Christmas, so I asked him about going through his toys to see if there were any toys that he no longer enjoyed playing with, that he could give to children that didn't have any toys or didn't have any parents. He promptly answered me with "No, I don't have any toys I want to give away."

Surely he does not understand, since he obviously has way too many toys and doesn't even play with most of them. So I said, "What about this Batman figure? You never play with him and you don't even like him."

"No, Nanny. I don't want to give him away.", he said, emphatically.

"But Ryan, it's for children that are orphans and they won't get anything for Christmas because they don't have anybody to look after them.", exaggerating my point.

"No.", he repeated. "I said I don't want to give any of my toys away! They probably would just tear them up anyway."

I did finally locate a jigsaw puzzle that he agreed to give up. I hate to mention that this particular jigsaw puzzle has already been re-gifted at least twice.

* * *

So a little later, I asked Ryan, "Do you know who's birthday is on Christmas?"

"Santa Claus!", he exclaimed.

"No, Ryan. It's not Santa Claus' birthday . . . Santa Claus is just a spirit.", I said.

"No he's not! He lives at the North Pole with his elves and his reindeer!", standing his ground and thinking that his Nanny has lost her mind.

"Ryan, Christmas is Jesus' birthday.", I said. "Jesus was born on Christmas Day and the three wise men brought him gifts. That's why we celebrate Christmas by giving gifts just like the wise men did for Jesus."

* * *

I thought Ryan knew all the answers to my questions and I'm truly embarrassed that he answered the way he did. I think his answers were a lot like many other children his age and he forgot the true meaning of Christmas because he was so wrapped up in what he would be receiving from Santa.

In light of this conversation with Ryan, I felt it was past time that he understood the true meaning of Christmas. We are taking gifts to the local battered women's shelter on Christmas Eve. I want him to experience what it's like to give to those less fortunate. He has also been missing way too many Sunday's in Sunday School. That is changing.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's Probably No Big Deal At All

Well, once again it was that time of year for my annual physical. Except . . . I skipped it completely last year.

I needed to get completely checked from head to toe and everywhere in between. I had the mammogram, the bone density, the blood work, the pap, the works.

The mammogram was no fun as usual. I just can never get used to standing in the middle of a room, topless, with a huge ass machine and another person squeezing my boobs between a vice. And it doesn't make it any easier that my boobs are size DD, very round, firm, and tight. They do not give way to a plexi-glass vice without cringing and gritting of the teeth. They finished that up and said I would get a phone call in a week or so with the results. Fine. Glad that's out of the way.

Next was the bone density and that's a breeze. Just lay there fully clothed and let the scanner move up and down your body. I could sleep during this one. The same technician measured my height and said I was 5 feet tall.

'Are you kidding me?' I asked. 'I'm supposed to be 5 feet and 1/2 inch. Let's measure me one more time and see if I can stand up a little bit taller!'

I stood in place and she measured me again. '5 feet and 1/8 inch.', she said.

'Shoot! I bet I was wearing my shoes last time!', I answered.

I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis 3 years ago and have been on the drug Boniva (advertised by Sally Field on TV), so I was anxious to know my results from this bone density test. Whoo Hoo! My bone density had increased 5%!!! Yay me!

Then on to see the doc. She asked all the pertinent questions and did the usual exam. I told her I had these lesions on my back and asked if she thought they should be looked at by someone else. Although they all looked benign, she agreed they should be taken off and then referred me to a plastic surgeon (just so happens to be her husband). I had those taken off a couple of days later and they were all benign, so all is good. Just need to get the stitches out and I'll be brand new again!

Then comes the mammogram phone call . . . A voice mail from the mammogram technician was left for me saying she needed me to call back ASAP regarding my mammogram. That's all.

'What? I've never had any problems. WTH could that be about?' I thought. 'I DID have one lesion on my right boob, but it was fine and it's gone now.'

So next morning, I called back and it seems that there is some 'abnormal tissue' showing that wasn't there the last time I had a mammogram in Oct 2006.

'Which breast is it in?', I asked.

'It's in both breast.', the technician answered. 'We need for you to come back in and let us do further testing on you and you'll need to come when the Radiologist is here. The Radiologist will want to talk with you and explain everything. He is only here on Wednesday's and the next time he will be here will be New Year's Eve. Can you come then?', she asked.

'Yeah . . . Sure . . . I'll be there.', I answered.

It's probably no big deal at all.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Big Smiles and Happy Faces!

We decided to have a little Christmas party tonight since Luke had his three kids for the weekend and we don't get to see them very much. They all arrived this afternoon with big smiles and happy faces ready to have a good time!

The children had grown so much since we last saw them. Gloria Lee, 9, wanted to paint a few Santa's and went straight to work on that after she gave me a hug and noted that she was almost as tall as me.

Lucas, 7, and Noah, 5, gave me big hugs and smiles and stood still for me to see how much they had grown. Ryan was so excited that they were all here and they immediately began playing.

At one point, Noah took a snack break from playing and sat at the counter talking to me. He looked around and told me that Grandma's are Christmassy.

Lucas stayed busy checking out all the toys in Ryan's room while Gloria Lee painted Santa's.

We all snacked on shrimp, chips and other goodies while Luke got supper going. Gloria Lee said the blessing before we ate our meal and our hearts were touched at her genuine heartfelt prayer. She spoke to Jesus as though he were seated at our table and I know Luke was more proud than ever before of his little girl.

Luke cooked the best pork tenderloin, rice and gravy, and saute'ed green beans you have ever put in your mouth! Everything was delicious, but the tenderloin was so juicy and tender you could cut it with a fork. The best I've ever had! Luke claimed that the meat had aged on the side of the road. Whatever . . . it was good.

I hated for the evening to end, but little ones get tired and they were traveling back to Savannah. Before they left, I asked, "Who is sleeping with Daddy?". Little Noah smiled the biggest smile and raised his hand as he said, "I am!"

Luke is the best Daddy in the world to his three children. They are the most important thing in his life and it is evident. Nothing else ranks as high. He loves his children with all his heart and they love and respect him in return. It's a very beautiful thing.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful.

Luke brought a couple of movies over last night when he came for supper and to take our Christmas picture. One of the movies was The Dewey Cox Story. He warned us to be sure Ryan wasn't around when we watched it, so when Ryan was at school this morning, I pulled the movie out to see what it was all about.

HILARIOUS! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! It's definitely a movie to see if you like a good laugh!

In other goings on around this place . . . I had a doctor appointment this afternoon to see a plastic surgeon. It was only to have a couple of lesions or moles removed, so I had it all planned out that I was going to ask him what he could do to make me beautiful. I was thinking something like Kelly Lebrock.

You know . . . maybe a breast reduction, a chin lift, an arm lift, liposuction, full body skin abrasion . . . just for starters.

Well, nothing ever happens the way I plan it, so the question never came up. Ended up, he had to take 11 lesions off of me! He needed to take more off, but that was all he felt like my body could tolerate for one visit. Turns out, he was RIGHT! Now I look like I was shot up by somebody with a pistol.

Not to mention my forehead, left elbow, and right boob. Most all of the incisions have stitches and besides leaving the doctor's office with the "shakes", I'm feeling like I had a double espresso while I was there.

And also, Minor's birthday was today. I was so READY for a night out for dinner and drinks! We made it to happy hour, so the tequila is doing it's job. I'm not dancing, but I'm definitely feeling a bit better! Thanks Jose'. Thanks for having a birthday, Minor! Happy 56th! Minor thought he was 57 and I had to figure it up again for him and prove to him he was only 56. Don't tell him I told you. He's a very busy man and leaves the small stuff to me, like remembering how old we are. LOL!

Merry Christmas everyone!

This is NOT the Christmas picture that Luke took last night, but it IS what I wore and how I looked. Just in case you were wondering.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I'd Do It Again In A Heartbeat!

We had our biggest Arts and Crafts Festival of the year here on St. Simons Island this past weekend and it was FABULOUS! The economy is in a down swing, but we were surely not seeing it at the Santa table. It was absolutely wonderful to see each Santa go to a new home or to a new friend or family. I felt like I had put a little tiny piece of St. Simons Island in each and every bag.

We set up the booth on Friday afternoon and evening for us to open at 10 AM on Saturday. Afterwards, Luke cooked us all a big pot of Jambalaya for supper while we discussed the schedule for the next day and tried to relax a little.

We had a 'pregnant belly' shoot at 8:30 AM scheduled for Saturday morning with the Mom and Dad to be. It went great and I even got a sneak peek at the photos afterwards! The finished photos are going to be beautiful. Check out our website soon at for new pictures.

After the photo shoot, Luke and I headed over to the Festival to finish setting up the booth for opening at 10 AM. The weather was chilly but not too terribly cold, so I wore my Christmas sweater and enjoyed wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Although the plan was for Minor to bag the Santa's and count the number sold while Luke and I did all the selling, it never quite worked out that way. We had so much fun selling and bagging, we all just did whatever came next. Luke and I enjoy the selling, so Minor didn't mind at all making coffee and food pickups throughout the day.

One of the other vendors that we have met through these Festivals is a lady that we know as Miss Millie. Miss Millie makes jewelry and travels here from Florida each time St. Simons holds an event such as this. She travels to other Festivals as well, but she makes it a point to be here. We have grown to love her and watch out for her when she is in town. Meeting people from all over everywhere is always exciting and this weekend was no different. We met people from Australia and others from Canada, as well as other states.

Luke had to leave early on Saturday to get ready for a Christmas Party on Saturday night. No problem, since Minor was there to help take up the slack. I turned the tables on Luke on Sunday, when I had to leave early to sing in The Messiah at 4 PM.

The Festival ended at 5 PM as did the performance of The Messiah, so the three of us met back at the house and decided to celebrate our FANTASTIC weekend by eating a big juicy steak at Outback. And of course, I couldn't leave out the fact that it was happy hour! I LOVE Outback!

We all worked sooooo hard to make this weekend a success and it truly was. Even if we never sold a thing, it was so much fun, we would do it again in a heartbeat!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Christmas At The Beach

I wrote this little diddy last year at Christmas time and thought I'd share it with all of you.

Christmas At The Beach

by Carla Pryor

Twas the night before Christmas,

And yes, it is so,
I was still awake,
And waiting for Snow.

I wished and I wished,
For the white stuff to come.
To build a big snowman,
I'd have to have some.

The pictures I've seen,
And the stories I've read,
Have only convinced me,
It's not in my head.

If Santa can bring
The gifts for us all,
Then why can't he send us
Some snow in a ball?

I've seen in the malls,
They are filled with fake snow.
That's not the same thing,
And I hope that they know.

I want the real thing.
Of this I am sure.
It's got to be real,
So cold and so pure.

So while I am waiting
For snow to come down,
I'll head to the beach
In my cap and my gown.

I'll bring a few candles
And a bottle of wine.
A shovel, a rake,
And a little design.

A sunhat, some seaweed,
And plenty of shells.
Some driftwood and starfish,
Don't need any bells.

I'll sculpt and I'll mold,
The sand and the sea.
Until I at last
Have a Sand Fa-mi-ly.

And if Santa should fly
In the sky on this night,
I want him to know
That it will be all right.

If he doesn't bring snow,
It will be OKay.
The beach is much nicer,
Than a cold winter day.

So maybe next year,
When he drops by for a bite,
He'll bring me some snow,
With a Merry Christmas and a good night!