He Could Be A Screamer

Most of you know that I have been diligently working to find Luke a wife. I'm not saying this is a problem, but it has come to my attention that the hair on his back could be a drawback. So I've been working on a solution.

I have obtained 6 tranquilizer darts from the local large animal Vet's office that I think will do the trick. One dart in the buttocks should slow his ass down and a second dart should take him right out. If we all work as a team, we could strip him down and pour hot wax over his backside. There is a chance he might wake up during the hair removal process, and he could be a screamer and try to escape, so we may have to stuff a sock in his mouth and use restraints. There are additional darts in case things begin to go awry. Let me know if you are in on it and we can make our plans accordingly.