Wednesday, December 2, 2009

This Is My Confession

I have a confession to make.

There is this little bitty problem I have of laughing hysterically when someone gets kicked in inappropriate places, you know like Wal-mart or something.......Bet you thought I meant somewhere else, didn't you? Or trips and stumbles over a tricycle or stumps their toe on a steel bed frame. In fact I am trying desperately to hold my laughter in right now, just thinking about it!

If you ever want to cheer me up, just tell me of the time you fell on a bicycle bar or how you had diarrhea and vomiting at the same time! Or one better, how you fell on a bicycle bar and it MADE you have diarrhea and vomiting at the same time!

And speaking of diarrhea and vomiting, a couple of days ago, I was telling this guyfriend of mine, that the electrician that I sleep with wasn't feeling so good and I hoped he didn't start vomiting.

"That electrician that I sleep with is the loudest vomiter in the world.", I chuckled, "He vomits so loud, he wakes up everyone in the house. I'm not kidding. It's sort of like a roar!", I laughed.

"Well that's a coincidence! I'm a loud vomiter too!", my friend boasted.

"In fact, one time I looked up and my kids were gathered around watching me hurl, and the wife was asking me if I could quiet down a little. And no way can I throw up outside in the yard! All the neighbors would think there was a bear loose and run for their lives!", he added.

Now ya'll, that's funny, I don't care who you are!

So Sunday morning, the electrician that I sleep with and I went for a walk on the beach. After about 30 minutes, he told me he thought maybe we should head back because his stomach was still feeling a little queasy. We walked back to the car and headed back to the house. It's only about a mile, but he began driving a little reckless, you know, dodging orange barrels and swerving around on side streets. This was out of character for him, so I asked him if he was in a hurry or something.

"Well, yeah! I DO need to go to the bathroom and the sooner we get there, the better.", he snapped.

So we got to the house and I didn't really notice that he had bee lined it straight to the back bathroom.

I went back to the bedroom and all of a sudden I heard a loud blow out coming from the bathroom. The echo was heard around the world. Or at least from where I was standing.

"Are you OK in there?", I laughed.

And with obvious relief in his voice, "I am NOW!", he said.

I swear these guys around here do that stuff just to make me laugh!

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